When we marry we make love, excited, waiting happily enjoy the years together with our husbands … But not all is happiness and ease, there are tough moments that lead us to question the relationship. It is unrealistic to expect that every day is a breeze, there will be days of sewing and mourn.

Love can endure, but the fantasy has to erase. True love is doomed to be built from reality. When we meet a person of the opposite sex that attracts us, assail us different emotions, both man and woman become castles in the mind, the two believe “this is the right person”.

We start a relationship based on illusions, in the normal emotions of courtship and later in the emotions of dating features, all that we still need time to think about important things, we are passing the time between appointments, walks, details, the families of both known each other and everything is going great, materialize formalities and inadvertently sets a date for the step that most women dream: the wedding.

We have illusions, but let’s be realistic not build on fantasies. If during courtship both accepted the working conditions in which their partners, would also well advised to expect more of the same after marriage. For example, if during the engagement he could not always be with you because he had to spend much time on working, it will make sense once married he still need to spend long hours outside the home. It is important to realize this, because a woman disillusioned could take this as a lack of attention of their husband, even without being so.

At the same time, when we begin a new life of married or cohabiting with a partner, we must be aware that not everything is the same as in the stage of courtship: well, now there are responsibilities such as maintenance of the house and children.

10 Tips to help build a good marriage:

• If you accepted your husband in courtship as it is, do not try to change it.
• Remember that you married a grown man, so you should not find surprising new things, habits or customs that did not know.
• Do not expect to change your partner, he remains the same that you knew and with which you fell in love.
• Nor try to change you just look good.
• Keep in mind that what you now irritates him, may be what attracted you.
• Think you joined your partner to share the bad and the good, do not expect to have a relationship without experiencing the pain and loneliness.
• Do not force yourself to give your children the best and most expensive, the best gift and that will last forever is a family full of love.
• Be realistic with your expectations, do not expect too much. He knows you love him and you expect good things from him, which will make you glad and happy when done.
• Consider both the needs of your partner as your own, both are important and need each other.
• Keep in mind that after the enthusiasm with which joined comes the reality of commitments and obligations, very different during the courtship.

Every day is a constant learning, learn to love one another without selfishness, learn to forgive the flaws and love the qualities. If we fight for detachment from the illusions and fantasies, if we understand that marriage is not a “bed of roses”, then there may be lasting marriages, accepting the beauty of love and mutual tolerance.