Remaining factors may be decisive for the partners to stay together after the discovery of cheating. If the quality of the relationship or marriage was reasonably good for the extramarital affair and even if the feelings between the two partners at low ebb, the marriage and the relationship survive after the adultery of the unfaithful partner. But what if the unfaithful partner wants to continue with both the fixed relationship with the lover or mistress?
Relationship break after the discovery of infidelity
After the discovery of infidelity, the partners in a major crisis with emotions running high. Despite the danger to an impulsive decision during this emotional crisis, there will be plenty of partners whereby the decision is:
- I leave my unfaithful spouse, or
- I leave my regular partner.
The extramarital affair is the reason to leave the marriage that already was near death. The emotional crisis will lead to a final break of the relationship and between the fixed partners.
Couples therapy: Supervised separation and divorce process
Over one third of the couples who apply for marriage counseling do so because one partner is cheating. Couples therapy is a good way of cheating unfaithful partner to process, but also to the final fracture and separation to discuss.
Cheating discovered, when you stay together?
How overwhelming the feelings and emotions may be differences between the marriage partners after the discovery of infidelity, there are factors within the marriage that binding works. In other words, factors which one stays together despite infidelity, such as:
- Relationship was positive in the past,
- Shared history,
- Material dependence.
Infidelity discovered: the pressure of the family
Make a decision, after the discovery of infidelity, can severely strain the family and in-laws. You “must” choose:
- For the fixed faithful partner: separate or remain
- For the unfaithful partner: the choice of the regular partner or lover, mistress.
What if the unfaithful partner does not want to choose?
There are unfaithful partners who do not want to choose between the regular partner and lover or mistress. It could be a choice of the unfaithful partner to both the fixed relationship to maintain and the lover or the mistress to maintain.
The danger is that in this case, both the regular partner and the third the unfaithful partner an ultimatum: “You must choose: me or the other”. Threatening to leave or suicide if the unfaithful partner is not quickly stop the relationship with the other, are the order of the day.
Impasse between the marriage partners
In a single case, the partners in a deadlock, reaching a stalemate, and not to create a (correct) to forward decision:
- The unfaithful partner opts for both relationships.
- The faithful partner can not choose between fixed or remain separate.
How can the deadlock be broken?
They are usually outside factors that could cause the deadlock between the partners to be broken:
- The impasse can be discussed through marriage counseling,
- The love of the lover or mistress goes out slowly,
- The loyal regular partner is strange,
- One moves.
The relationship with the lover or mistress persists
If the unfaithful partner continues with the relationship with the third, it will be a very bitter pill for the loyal regular partner. Both partners are constantly working relationship with the third. As long as the unfaithful partner and loyal partner fixed together, there is no reason to think why the marriage does not deserve attention. Does the unfaithful partner out to dinner with the lover or the mistress? But do this with the loyal regular partner! This is especially true for couples who claim that the relationship with the third of only secondary importance.