When processing a divorce or the end of your relationship, there are a few important tools that can help you through this difficult period to come.
Talking = heal
Talking = heal; this is especially true for women. Men have something less benefit, but also applies to them that talking helps.
Tell your story, even if it is a hundred times the same or almost the same story. As long as you need it to tell your story, it is important to do. When you tell your story put it all in your head at a glance, everything for yourself neatly stored in your head to the right place.
After telling your story to someone you can instantly relieved and feel better. Be brighter and with more space in your head.
There is something expected of the listener. Namely that they can really listen and really just listening to you. And that’s quite difficult for a listener.
Most people tend to go to your help, your advice. However, it is debatable whether this (well intentioned) advice also helps. Also expects the person who gives you the advice you follow them and you do not again have to tell your story. They have because you already given the solution to your problem.
Try to get the listener to make clear that they only ask you to listen. That their only effort required to listen and most some supplementary questions. Tell him or her that you do not expect them to give you an opinion and they help you best when you just want to hear. Even though they know the all story too well.
Also make sure that the listener does not ‘party’ in the story. You must tell your story without the person who hears it appeals can feel.
Never use your children as a listener, how much they’ll probably also want to help. This is not a task for them. They have their own story to tell and if you can try it there as a listener to listen to. Without any comments and without improvements, opinions or convictions. Manage you don’t try to ensure that they also be able to tell their story to someone.
You are at some point by your listeners ‘back’ so to speak, you have the idea that everyone really had enough to get back to listen to you then you have two alternatives.
The first alternative, you can always use at any time. That alternative is writing. Put your story on paper and again and again. Paper is patient. You do not have to keep your writings if you’re afraid that someone finds them and reads, throw them away immediately after the write. It is not important to preserve it. If you’ve written that is sufficient.
The second alternative is to talk to a professional. Someone that professionally to you listens and knows how important it is for you to tell your story.